Exhibit A, your Honor. This poor woman clearly cannot be held responsible for her actions. If your Honor would please take a look at the result of the date in question's naptime, your Honor would without a shadow of a doubt let my client off due to temporary insanity. Yes, this temporary insanity has lasted for approximately two years, but if your Honor would note that prior to her insanity, she was an upstanding citizen with only a few minor traffic tickets to blacken her record.
Exhibit B has been rectified by the in-house electronics cleaner, but had your Honor seen the before (a brand new iPod colored in the very last discontinued lip pencil that my client uses every single day), your Honor would be even more sure that my client absolutely cannot be held responsible for running up and down the street screaming, pulling her hair out, mumbling to herself while huddled in the corner, and spending way too much money at the craft store.
(Also at the scene of the crime was the empty package of gum and crumbled gum wrappers, entire contents of my client's wallet thrown about carelessly, phone with 45 new pictures on it, soiled bedding, and various other misdemeanors.)
Extra points to whoever can guess what part of his body that's a print of and what my two-year old monster used for the all-natural pigment. Oh yes, I did put that picture up. Sorry, Hubby.
Exhibit B has been rectified by the in-house electronics cleaner, but had your Honor seen the before (a brand new iPod colored in the very last discontinued lip pencil that my client uses every single day), your Honor would be even more sure that my client absolutely cannot be held responsible for running up and down the street screaming, pulling her hair out, mumbling to herself while huddled in the corner, and spending way too much money at the craft store.
(Also at the scene of the crime was the empty package of gum and crumbled gum wrappers, entire contents of my client's wallet thrown about carelessly, phone with 45 new pictures on it, soiled bedding, and various other misdemeanors.)
Extra points to whoever can guess what part of his body that's a print of and what my two-year old monster used for the all-natural pigment. Oh yes, I did put that picture up. Sorry, Hubby.
Edit: I should add that the padlock mentioned in the title is not meant for the two year-old, just for anything that I hold remotely valuable or that could not hold up to a good scrubbing. The two year-old could pick the padlock no problem.
1 comment:
That is a butt-print made with poop! Extra points for me.
Good luck... I'm glad the backwards-sleeper-with-shorts-and-shirt-on-top worked. Hopefully he outgrows this stage soon!
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