"They call me tater salad."

I need to stop cooking like this. I'm not going to have any clothes that fit by the time Thanksgiving rolls around (see what I did there?). I can't help it though. Fall makes me want to cook. Christmas may be the time of year for baking, but fall is soup season. Here's another one of my favorites, and guess what, it has pork products and potatoes! Big shocker.

Baked Potato Soup
serves an army

• 1 pound of bacon, snipped into bite-sized pieces with kitchen scissors (Use the good stuff, go ahead, you deserve it.)
• 1 medium onion, chopped (Baseball-sized is good.)
• 2 cups carrots, diced (Look, it's a vegetable!)
• 5 pounds of potatoes, diced (You can feel healthier and leave the skin on, or go completely unhealthy and peel them first.)
• 1 T dried chives (If you have 3 tablespoons of fresh chopped chives, that's fine, too.)
• 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
• 1 to 2 cups milk
• Sour cream to garnish, if you need a little extra fat

Get out your big pot. We're cooking for an army here, there's at least 10 servings in this recipe. Saute the chopped bacon on medium heat until it starts to render its fat.

Add the onion and carrot, and cook until the onion is translucent and the bacon has given off all it's yummy fat. At this point, you can drain off most of the oil, but what's the fun in that? I'm sure cardiologists everywhere are cringing, but bacon fat makes me happy.

Add your potatoes and dried chives, and stir to coat every last piece with goodness. (If you are using fresh chives add them with the cheese so they don't get too nasty.)

Add enough water to cover everything. You can use chicken stock if you'd like, but definitely use low sodium or no salt added chicken stock. Bacon is plenty salty. Taste the broth to see if you need salt or pepper. I always add tons of pepper- I love a peppery potato soup!

After you've adjusted the seasoning, cover it with a lid, and let it cook on medium until the potatoes are starting to fall apart. It's probably going to take about 20 minutes, depending on how big you've diced your potatoes.

Right before serving, add the cheese and stir until it has melted completely. This is when you add the milk. If your soup is too thick, add more milk; if it's just fine, add less milk. Your soup will thicken as it stands, so err on the side of thin rather than thick.

If you've had a really rough day, serve it with a dollop of sour cream and more bacon on top. In my opinion either naked or dressed, this soup is a winner!


I know the title has little to do with the actual post, but it's one of my favorites clips by Ron White.

Flashback Friday, part 2

It's Flashback Friday! I almost missed it, too. I've had this feeling all day that there was something I was supposed to do, but it didn't click until I saw Tia's reminder on Twitter. And here I thought laundry, baking muffins, homeschooling, crocheting Christmas presents, and giving out medicine was all I had to do today. Silly me! BTW- giving a very flexible and energetic five year-old eye drops for an eye infection is about as easy as wrangling a greased pig. Or a soapy three year-old in the bath. Either way, I deserve a blue ribbon at the county fair.

Remember when I told you I wasn't a pretty child? The eighties weren't a good fashion decade anyway. This is my tenth birthday. It was a sleepover, and I was dressed up in my ruffled collar schoolmarm shirt and faded blue khaki skirt. Yup, I'm the one with my tongue sticking out.

When we were growing up, we were allowed to have a birthday party every five years. Because there were four of us until I was fourteen, this worked out to one a year with one year off for my parents to financially recover. I have solved this issue by having all my kids between November 12th and December 15th. They all have to share one big party. We used to throw each one a party, but as we added more kids to the crowd, we started to run out of money before Christmas even came around. Anyway, back to the photo.

Out of the seven girls that came (I invited all the girls in my class), I really only talked to three of them on a daily basis. I didn't really say much to anyone, for that matter. Don't worry, I'm making up for it now. I was such a late-bloomer. Sorry, I keep getting side-tracked, back to the photo!

We had a really good time. We made pizzas, cookies, and my mom made us home-made donuts in the morning. Looking back, I realize how cheap my parents made out, but back then I had no idea. I just remember having someone other than my sisters to stay up late and talk to. It was good times. You know, back when we still thought boys were gross. Once we started caring what the boys thought of us, it was all over. Sometimes I still think boys are gross, but it makes me happy when one of them tells me I look nice. At least now I don't totally flip out when a boy is talking to my friend and not me.

Yummy, yummy in my tummy... part 2!

One of my Twitter friends, HKprettyinpink, asked me to share my recipe for Sausage, Potato, and Kale soup. I tweeted the simple version, but then thought more explanation might be good for those of you who had no idea what I was talking about. I have come to realize that's most of the earth's population. Even my own family has given me the "wha?" face from time to time.

Doesn't this look good? This is after it's been refrigerated and reheated, too.

So here it goes:


Sausage, Potato, and Kale soup

Note- I call it that because the sausage is my favorite part, followed by the potato, and well, the kale is there because it has vitamins.

• 1 pound of bulk sausage (If you like it spicy, use spicy Italian; if you would rather have chunks of sausage, use sausage links and chop them up, I use Jimmy Dean Regular because that's what I like.)
• 1/2 large onion, chopped (When I say large, I mean the size of a softball.)
• 1 1/2 pounds of baking potatoes, diced (You can either leave the skin on or peel them, your choice. If you would rather have a firmer potato, use red potatoes; they hold up to cooking better.)
• 1 box of chicken stock (I don't know how much stock comes in the box. If you really want to go all Martha, make your own, just don't brag about it to your friends. They might not like you later.)
• 1 pound of frozen greens (Use kale, mustard, turnip or spinach- your choice again. If you want to use fresh, be prepared to wash, dry and chop at least 3-4 pounds to get the same amount. Just go frozen.)

Get out your big pot. Heat enough olive oil to barely cover the bottom over medium heat, and saute your sausage and onion until the sausage is done. If you want globs of sausage, don't worry too much about breaking it up. I need sausage in every bite, so I go medieval on it with my wooden spoon and break it up good.

While the sausage is cooking, you can prep your taters. Add them to the pot and stir until all that yummy sausage and onion stuff is covering every piece. I'm getting hungry. Add the greens now if they're still frozen. If you actually thought ahead and defrosted them (What's wrong with you, and how can I get that way?), add them after the potatoes have cooked halfway.

Dump in your chicken broth. If you need to add a little more water to cover your potatoes, go ahead. Taste the broth to see if you need salt or pepper. If you've added extra water, you're probably going to need to adjust the seasoning. Cover with a lid, and let it cook!

Depending on how big you've diced your potatoes, it can take anywhere from 15 minutes to 30 minutes. I dice mine small (1/2 inch) because I have no patience. Go small the first time because once you smell this soup, you will want to eat it as soon as you can. If there is any left, I suppose it could be frozen, but I've never had any left to test this theory.

This can also be done in a slow cooker. Saute your sausage and onion first, then add everything to your slow cooker and cook on low for 5-6 hours, or high for 2-3 hours.

Enjoy!

Yummy, yummy in my tummy...

I'm trying to write something witty and coherent, but it's not working. I think all my blood has rushed to my tummy, more later. So... because I found the camera, I thought I'd just post some pictures and maybe explain them a little.

Goliath gets the peanut butter jar after we're done. Most people rinse their recycling out before they put it in the bin, we lick it out. What did we use all that peanut butter for, you ask? Why is there so much fuzz on your carpet, you're probably also wondering? Don't judge me because I have fuzz next to my couch. I know you're staring at it. I know it's driving you crazy. Sheesh, if it bothers you that much, you can come vacuum my house for me. Bring a vacuum, mine is usually clogged with dog hair. Anyway, back to the peanut butter...

Peanut butter-dark chocolate french toast sandwiches of course. Breakfast for dinner is freaking awesome! We did have some pineapple, and I made them with whole wheat bread, so don't get all up in arms because my kids had chocolate for dinner. You're just jealous because you don't have any leftover homemade dark chocolate ganoche laying around.

Oh, and lunch was potato, sausage and kale soup, from scratch. I was Super Chef today, and my tummy is happy.

-Side note, I skipped Flashback Friday because Tia is sick. Send her well wishes and join in on the fun next week!

It's Weebs!

I guess it's fall. There have been no leaves changing, the grass on our neighbors' lawns is still green (we have dirt that one day I will spray paint green); it's not even cold yet.
I did get a little bag of fabric leaves in fall colors from my Monster. They've started celebrating Fall in his Sunday school class, and he's really excited about it. He came running out of his classroom holding a little brown paper bag that he had lovingly decorated in one hand and a lollipop in the other hand. He shoved the bag into my hand, said "Dish ish foh you!", and quickly stuck the lollipop in his mouth before I could take it away. Yes, he has learned the art of distraction from his Mommy. I'm so proud.
When I asked him what was in the bag (I've learned to ask first. Sometimes little boys think things like bugs, used gum, and half eaten cookies need to be saved for Mom. They're so giving.), he said, "It's weebs!" If I could have recorded his little happy dance, I would watch it every day.
He's three years old, and still can't say "r", "th", "l", or "s" most of the time. I should be concerned, but it's still too cute which I need because most of the time, he's very un-cute.

Oh, and I would take a picture of his little art project, but the camera's still missing. There's a reason we call him Monster.

Flashback Friday, part 1

One of the blogs I stalk is Christopher and Tia. I fully admit my stalking. I may have posted a comment or two, but it has been a while. At any rate, Tia has been encouraging people to own up to their dorky, awkward pasts (at least in my case, she looks adorable) and join in on her Flashback Friday posts. So I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna bite the bullet, jump the shark, take the plunge, and any other cliche you can think of that would fit here. Please understand, I was not a beautiful child. Yes, Mom, I was beautiful inside, but outside I was, well as my loving father put it, a toothpick with an olive shoved half-way down. I was a really skinny white girl with a butt. Yup, baby's got back.

To ease you all into the wonderfulness that is my past, I'm gonna start with a picture of me and my older sister.





We grew up in South Florida, Margate to be exact, so this really could have been taken any time during the year, but I'm guessing I was either four or five in this picture. I am the blondish one in the red two piece, by the way. I couldn't really tell you why we were sunbathing by the trash heap, but I can tell you we didn't do that very often because I don't tan, I burn. And then get freckles. My lovely older sister (consequently, this picture may be the only proof that she was taller than me at one point in her life) tans like you wouldn't believe; she turns a gorgeous olive color. She also married a man who is part Puerto Rican, part American Indian so her children get really dark, too. Me? Oh, I married a Scottish/English guy. Yeah, we have clear children who turn the color of a watermelon at the slightest amount of heat. Hey, I married for love, not skin pigment. Oh, and we live in Florida, so I guess you could say my kids are red ten months out of the year, and then I have clear children for the other two. When I say clear, I mean you can see every vein in the skin. Just like their Mommy! Family photos are really fun, I always tell people my sister's kids are the brown ones, mine are the clear ones.

So yeah, that's more about my present than my past, but to tell you the truth, I don't really remember much about this picture. That was an awesome Flashback Friday, huh? Eh, maybe next week, I'll actually have a picture I remember something about.

Yeah baby, I'm breaking ALL the rules!

Ask anyone, talking about politics on a non-political blog is akin to stabbing your neighbor with a rusty spoon. Not nearly as bad would be talking about religion, let's say just stabbing that same neighbor with a spoon not washed with Cascade. Guess what I'm gonna do in this post???

First off, let me say, any comments left with swear words in them will be deleted. If you really feel the need to use them, please get creative with your punctuation marks. I'm sure we can all figure out what you mean. Other than that, feel free to share how you feel. Oh, and don't attack anyone personally. If I think your comment crosses either line, I'll remove it. I have that power- it's my blog (mhua-hua-huah!).

So here comes the fun!

I recently got into a discussion with a woman who attended the same private Christian school I did from kindergarten to twelfth grade. We are both self-proclaimed Christians, different denominations. We are both mothers, neither of our children attend private school (I believe her children are in public, mine are home-schooled after starting in private), and both of us and our spouses are active in our respective churches- different denominations, but both believing in salvation though Jesus' blood. (If you don't understand this, I can go into further detail.)

I was taught that you should respect those put in authority to you regardless of how you feel about their views, so you can imagine how irritated I got when she repeatedly made extremely negative comments about our current President. I will say right now, I didn't vote for him. I didn't vote for the other guy either. After at least a year of these comments (getting more and more unbearable) I finally said something. I pointed out how negative and disrespectful they were. I used nice words, only grammatically correct capitalization, and only what punctuation was necessary. Of course, this marked me for attack from her various supporters using their trademark overuse of capitalization and strings of exclamation points. Needless to say that this caused me to defend my points, politely again, explaining exactly what I believed and why I chose to believe it. Oh yeah, I did some research. It was really informative, and helped me really define what my beliefs were. So, I'm gonna share because it seemed like such a waste on people who didn't really listen to what I had to say because they were too busy spouting out things that didn't really have any backing facts but were full of capitalization and strings of exclamation points.

I believe that no matter your feelings about someone's beliefs, you should be respectful. Especially those in authority to you. It's just polite. I wouldn't demonize anyone, and although the President and I don't share a lot of the same views, that doesn't make him an evil spawn of Satan (I'm paraphrasing for comedic effect, I don't believe anyone used those exact words).

I believe that in no way should the government get its hands on my religion, and I understand that the First Amendment prevents that from ever happening. However, this also means that I can't get upset when the government refuses to allow my religion precedent over others in state sanctioned events. If it means children in public schools aren't taught that Allah is God, then I'm okay with them not being taught my Jesus is God. Yes, I understand the need to share my faith with others, but if I'm living my life the way I should, people would know I'm different before I even open my mouth.

For that matter, I could care less what holy book our President used while he took his Presidential Oath. In fact, I would rather have him swear with his hand on the book he deemed most holy, because then it would mean something more to him than using whatever book was handed to him. And as long as he doesn't touch that First Amendment, he can believe whatever he wants. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to do my darndest to vote up every law that follows my beliefs, and vote down every law that goes against them. That's how this country works, not always perfectly, but it's doing a whole lot better than some.

It was brought up repeatedly that because our founding fathers were Christian, we should follow the spirit of the law, and only allow Christianity into the government. I paid enough attention in school to know that nothing about that statement is true. Just because our money says, "One Nation Under God" doesn't mean they were Christian. Believing in a god is called Deism, not Christianity. You can believe there is a god without believing that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven. They were politicians, and because of this, made many contradictory statements about what exactly they believed. So, if they weren't clear with their words, shouldn't we go by they way they lived their lives, you say (as many asked me to)? Lying, slave owners with mistresses on the side surely meant they were Christians, right? And last time I checked, just following the spirit of the law is still enough to get you thrown in jail. (Yeah, I wasn't really stealing, I was redistributing the wealth.)

At any rate, the law is the law. And if I don't want the government telling me how to believe, I can't tell them that they should allow my religion into their schools and exclude others. And yeah, when the Bible told you to respect those in authority to you, it wasn't just talking about the ones you agreed with, but then that would be that spirit of the law thing again, huh?

So, all right, share your thoughts. Remember, keep it civil, and use @%^#*! not curse words.